In an attempt to start off the new year on the right foot, I feel like I would be really focused on different goals that I would like for myself in this year ahead. The more I sit here and think about it, more I start thinking about the many reasons why I am were I am in life and what it is that is holding me back. The sad thing about this all is that I feel that I have always been a very determined person and wanting the best for myself, but there has always been that one thing that has been hold me back from doing so. The one thing that is missing is something that is important and it's support! My whole life I have been wanting to have support from my parents and siblings. I have wanted them to help guide me in the right directions and push me to better myself and become more independent. Its not that I'm not independent, but for me and my goals that I have they aren't possible unless I know I will have my parents to help me. Part of the problem is that my siblings are so dependant on my parents and partially me to and I feel that since I have been helping contribute to them and their needs that it has held me back significantly, It is so very sad seeing all my friends and family having done many things with their life and I am still stuck home and unable to do the things that I know I can do...
I know it is something that I should just go ahead and do on my own, but it isn't that easy. Why support is so very important to me is because it is a HUGE part as to why I can't move forward. With school and home and just everything I have always been told things like I would never be good enough for different things or that I just wasn't smart enough, or that its just me and my personality that causes me to live the life I have. One doesn't forget things like this, especially if it is something that has been embedded in my head since I was really young. So I guess what I am wondering is how do you try and forget all the bad things that have been said and that has ruined most of your confidence and allow yourself to move on from here?
Well there is more to post, until next time...
